lovely pink roses, 15 of them.
their slight sweet smell fills winnie's room
XH bought it, to make winnie happy.
AWW...so sweet of him..

soon to be 1am.
i'm still doing my case study..rushing..but not really that rush..
anyways..while i'm on it, couple of msges came in (other than his)
asking whether i'm free to club tonight, asking me to print her stuffs for her, asking me to slack with them at night..
well..this last msg recieved was from as friend whom i knew like 3 years ago?
friend read my blog. apparently aware of the state that me & bf is in, or was in.
what friend said was right.
being in this relationship, i realised i'm not longer being myself.
i allowed myself to be taken charge by bf.
willingly or not.
i wasnt like this in my previous relationships.
i am not myself anymore.
perhaps i've changed after many incidents
the wendy friend knew doesnt exist anymore.
this current wendy..is pathetic!
i know i'm not the one for him.
like i've said before, our dreams are different.
in our case.it looks like i'm the one holding on to you.
actually i've forgotten bout it..
but now as i recall..i was so disappointed.
sneaking around in my own bf's house.
& i would have to hide myself in the cupboard
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?!
asking for acknowledgement from my bf's mother, is it wrong?
close to 11 months of our togetherness
perhaps i'm really wrong for asking to much.
i was darn wrong in the first place.
as much as i want to let go..i know you cant..
but please let go.any moment you're ready i'll go.
i'm just a burden to you.
i'm not the one you would like.
i really really dont want the life we're having now.
i dont want sex.
i dont want to feel bad.
i just want you to keep to your promises.
but i know you cant..

11 months..it's just a pretend relationship.